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Kolawole Dinehin

When my family and I lived in Quebec from my birth till seven they went from one religion to another seeking the truth. My best childhood friend at the time molested me time and time again. When we moved to the states i remember getting a letter from her and telling my parents I didn't want to reply because she wasn't a good friend. As i grew older i remember my mom telling me things like i was a b****. She would take food away from me and say to stop eating because i was too fat. I never was fat but she would still tell me that. When we had guests over for dinner my mother would tell me to be quiet because what i had to say was pointless. So i began to shy away from my family, I started lying about everything and going behind their backs. I felt like i couldn't talk to them and tell them the truth so why not just keep it to myself.

When we moved back to Canada it got worse. My parents are very legalistic Christians and when i looked at Christianity all i saw was them and i didn't want anything to do with it. I was told that as long as i lived under their roof i was not allowed to try any other churches. One day i got home from school and my mom found a note in my book that said i F*****g hated my teacher. While it was raining and i was wearing shorts she kicked me out and told me to never come back. Bare footed and cold i walked in the freezing cold trying to find a place to stay. She told my dad she told me to sit outside until dad got home but that wasn't the case. I began hanging out with a girl who was no good. Her friend and herself came over one afternoon when my parents were not home. I ended up falling off a horse into the barbwire fence. They took me to the hospital and when my mom got there she didn't ask me if i was ok but accused me of smoking. Another night she kicked me where i got my stitches. I didn't want to be anything like that and thats all i knew about religion. At one point i had a secret boyfriend. I was 16 at the time and he was 23 and an alcoholic and porn addict. But I just wanted to be loved and feel loved so i went for this guy who didn't deserve me. One night it got really bad between my mom and i. i was belted for hours and we got into a fight were she pinned me to the ground and bit me.

I had to stay home the next day because I could barely walk I was so hurt. I got the cops involved and was taken out of the home. Only then i began to do drugs and get drunk every night. The 23 year old ended up rapping me. i had to miss my sisters wedding and all my family coming to visit. I was in a foster home and then a homeless shelter before i went back to Quebec. Only then did i start growing closer to God. When i went back home my faith dropped again and i tried to commit suicide but the Lord told me he had bigger plans for me. I had to go to court and my parents didn't like what i had to say and again i don't live at home. But know i know that I can never live without My Savior. He has always been able to show me the light when i am in the darkest places. How can i run from that anymore? I know i can always count on him to forgive me for my sins and to guide me through my trials. It may have taken the worst pain I can imagine to get me here but he has succeeded at last and I pray that i will never stray again!

2 years ago


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